“Birds of a feather do flock together.” Is a statement often referenced that makes quite some sense to this day. However, allow me draw my possibly chipped but clear lens to the individual birds that knit this flock or may be murder, sedge, convocation, mob, pat, plump, dole or any other that you can best relate to. Among many we all can comfortably point out the whiner, the omniscient, the insecure, the Nostalgic, the wannabees, the mom or dad, the child, the finger pointing can go on and forth till we cannot remember where and when we begun. Let us dust some dirt off some surfaces, shall we?
We have all had this one person in our lives for whom things hardly go well, either they have had an argument, there is always something bad and it happens to just them, someone did not let them do or get to something, they always have an interesting reason why things have not worked out for them, they are the ones who get dumped ‘for no reason’, they claim to be taken for granted maybe because of their current or previous state, literally, they have something against anyone who does not side with them and everything and all attention should be on them and their situation. If you need progress, keep these friends in their place not in your space lest you whine like them.
Then we have those who will always find someone or something to blame but themselves. They are always right (yet nothing ever works out) they always have a plan and a wise answer to each and everything, like a bank of wisdom they even look back and remind you of how things failed for you when you didn’t listen to them. Allow me to tell you one truth, “no human being is always right.” You are therefore on the highway to your doom following after only their counsel. Slow down, step out of the bubble and look around you. The truth is right before your eyes. Yes, listen to their counsel because they will forever do provide but only take it with a pinch of salt.
Honestly, if someone cannot stand their true self, is it not rather dumb of you to expect them to stand you or any honest criticism? If they do not like what they see when they look at the mirror, do you expect them to take feedback about the same from a stranger? They are not to blame; you are to blame choosing to confide in someone who cannot even stand their true self. Once again, look into the mirror, do you like what you see?
How about someone so stuck in the past that it is all they have got as a point of reference; they always have reason to blame the past for their present state and for the reason they cannot move further in life. Like those in the cases mentioned above, these are usually insecure about everything and have an honest opinion and every reason why things need to be done their way based on their interpretation of past events.
Do they make a point? Seldom.
Do you need to give them the due attention they deserve? Yes, you do.
Should you take their counsel? With a pinch of salt.
Then the special category, **call them special because they want to be called s**o. These will do anything and everything to fit into the latest trend, they are never left out. Can be compared with the insecure lot yet these may have some cherry to supplement that. All that matters is the trend be it irreversible and caution is not even in their rear-view mirror. You need to meet some of them when the consequences of their plight begin to catchup. These could easily become the nostalgic or omniscient with the famous claim, “been there, done that.” And the rest is collateral damage or even baggage. Should they remain in your circle? Of course! You will always need some hype every once in a while, and their struggle to keep up with the latest trend is a reality show worth following up.
Who has not seen the gang’s chatterbox; They will talk about anything and everything from the colour of their poop to how their spouse does it better than anyone else, all in a breath without sparing any detail. Show that you doubt them and boom all evidence to prove you wrong will suffice. They need to be heard; this is the truth. They can easily slip into depression if ignored or are not allowed to express themselves freely. In as much as they share a lot, they also ask quite a handful and I mean “the every detail” handful. They are easily led to anger when they are not listened to, when they are ignored and when they are not told what they need to hear the way they want to hear it.
That being said, it would be very unfair if these, our friends are only considered in this light only noticeable to some and not to themselves and many others. Truth is even you reading this have noticed a place(S) may describe you fully and/or partly and that alone could mean two things;
Someone could have more than one of these character traits in different measures and mixes.
These traits have a positive light and one’s perception about them determines their opinion.
while whiner may not always have the perfect tales, they provide a window for anyone that cares to pay attention to look at certain phenomena through their lens and this usually brings about a certain clarity that can ease the effects of certain situations. That said, worrying or crying does not solve anything though it makes so many feel a lot better. One may also ask, what value is empathy without a whiner especially one in the form of a friend? That said every song is good for a moment there after, it becomes noise.
The omniscient one is in so many ways someone you would ask for an honest opinion whenever you need one, we all also need that one person who we run to for advice and we are certain they will have something honest to say. It is always humbling to know that you have a friend who knows more than you do and so they challenge you to get better and they also help you at it.
The insecure friend always keeps you in check, since they are never certain of what is next. They could probably not have noticed that they are not wearing shoes while reading this. “Did you just check?” now you know the value of checking and cross checking. Too much of insecurity is however recipe for disaster and that by itself can be a booklet full of experiences. However, it is always better safe than sorry.
There is a common saying accredited to the writer and philosopher George Santayana that states, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” This is truth on so many fronts as it is articulate about those who cannot remember rather not those that choose to dwell in the past. For most projections, plans and estimations to be viable, relation has to be made to one similar for a fair precedent and extrapolation of results. In this, one can agree that it is only fair to refer to the past so as to gauge the future with some clarity, tread through now without the fear of having to repeat the mistakes committed then. However, the possibility of moving forward with one’s eyes glued to the back of their heads may not end well.
Well, a lot goes into making an informed decision and a lot more is required to execute the same. That said, the biggest composition of any decision made is the mindset and ideology of the decision maker. All this mentioned above and more greatly influences this decision-making process and for anyone to consider influencing the latter they have got to address the former. This as most know is determent by one’s family and/or upbringing, their level of Education formal and/or nonformal, religion or faith which all in turn define one’s social circles which later determine their experiences and the consequences they have had to face for every decision they have had to make.
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