Mom once told me, “Every lady is definitely a woman. However, not every woman is a lady.__”
Can be subject to debate as there is always the idealistic lot that choose to live a life long fantasy. Emulating the life of fictional characters, they have loved on the big screen, pulling every last string to lead the life of their favourite novel characters and maybe seek a shot to a fairly tale.
Do not get this twisted though_, a good life is worth living_ and many would trade anything just for a shot at it.
Back to the great topic, why is the yoke of fantasy and ‘fairy tale' so tight around the necks of many to the point of selling our souls? There is a price tag on literally everything we can point a figure at and much of what cannot be valued, we are rendering worthless forgetting that it is at the very core of this life we living. What is the price a woman has got to pay to be a lady?
The mystery that defined a lady from every other woman, that which left everyone questioning, wishing, that which grew the urge for one to demystify but still could not. It was not that she had all the money, the best looks or shape, power or the best apparel but that something which made the air around her seem different.
That something that gave one satisfaction just by looking at her that she lingered in their mind for a while.
That thing that could take one out of their way just to make sure she is safe and remained un corrupted even if they did not know her.
That mystique about a lady that made a man want to give her everything without question or the need for her to return any of it back.
That mystery that tells any woman from a lady, a trophy beauty from a wife, a girl from daughter. You definitely have someone that just crossed your mind having read this far but why is it not with every woman?
What then defines one from the other?
Is it their demands? (those can be rightfully deserved.)
Is it the need to catch up to a certain lifestyle not necessarily to show off even so, why not? That also can be rightfully deserved.
Could it be the great quest for contentment, which is often claimed in things that we do not yet own. It is so true that some times we believe that what satisfies many will definitely satisfy us.
There are so many could be and can be(s) in this situation as many as the minds bearing them. These however still do not define one from the other.
What then tells one from the other, one could coin character. Everybody does have that and definitely we all cannot be raised the same. Our interests, hobbies, habits, motivation vehicles are very different and all these contribute to one's character.
Do not be deceived, every body is sophisticated and as such we all carry ourselves.
Why then is every woman not a lady?
Is it not their right? Who gets to define one from the other?
As relative as beauty is in the eyes of whoever beholds it. The moment they do, then the distinction.
Just like beauty, one may be defined by class, mannerism, character among others. In general, how one takes care of themselves defines one from the other.
You do not have to have it all to take good care of yourself. Class depends on one’s level of access and interest.
This value cannot be bought and no value can be attached to one's pride and level of investment in themselves.
This blossoms and lives on as long as one does live and it is a trait not taught.
The mystique behind a lady, every woman would love to have. Unfortunately, it does not just happen. Its a combination of every virtual every woman has harnessed over time.
“even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise.” proverbs 17:28.
there is a big difference between not speaking and not knowing when to speak. my point lays in the later.
Everybody has got the right to express themselves, including those one may refer to as the worst or the least. You however would not want to have your right to expression be the reason someone thinks you are one not the other.
It maybe common sense for many to only sail a tide they know best. There is no value in having to prove a point. This only reveals more about you than maybe desired. Simply put, it means they are better and you have to prove that you are. This is a vivid sign of weakness.
Talking about weakness, submission and surrender have lately been classified as weakness, forgetting that you do not have to win every fight, you do not have to have it all.
Just because you can, does not necessarily mean you should.
It takes maturity to let go.
Moving on is a virtual that society is not going to teach but expect from you.
There is still something lacking until one learns to let go and be glad they did.
Aggressiveness has never solved anything. You may get what you are fighting for but loose something more important. Your dignity.
Vulnerability will sway any one to them that honestly are. This also is not a virtue taught nor bought but a virtue only a few can exhibit. Without it you are not any less but a complete woman.
The values that tale one from the other may not be quantifiable, they may not even be trending however, the honour they command is priceless.
Mystique behind a wife.
Question; why would someone date you, flaunt you around, show you off, provide for you everything you ask for, be your world but still, not marry you?
Is it possible that you may check all the boxes on the princes' list but still not be his wife of choice? Definitely yes!
You could indeed qualify as a gem, jewel, an ultimate trophy but still not be wife material.
There is that unwritten list everyone has that may require checking out before one's hopes soar beyond their reach.
A perfect wife may not be from a rich family, she may not even have a penny to her name.
A perfect wife may not be an attention magnet maybe that is for the trophy beauty.
She may not be the most beautiful, with perfect skin, make up, body shape and full body function.
A perfect wife sadly, may not be your best friend.
There is always that virtue (lady) that no one will ask for however expect from you just for the upgrade.
One can have you around for as long as you are willing to be around but until you exhibit certain values, do not expect a shift.
Just like every man has a certain amount of ego just because he is a man so are these virtues, matter of fact, He will hint on marriage or tell you the very moment he gets to talk to you for the first time if he sees it in you or you may date him for 20 years and still remain just his date or girlfriend.
No quality or quantity of sex can make him put a ring on it. He will enjoy it though and still move on. Do not get offended, there is just a few things you have to look out for and work on.
Not every man out there is looking for someone to sleep with. Do not let failures pump your mind their unproven sentiments.
If all a man wanted was sex, they would have no reason for dating which may lead to heartbreak yet prostitution does exist and it is way cheaper.
Every man needs a family of their own, they do but they cannot start one unless they are certain that you are a mother not just a woman. There is a very big distinction.
Having a man's kids does not qualify you either. We all know that getting yourself knocked-up just to keep him will not stop him from seeking for an absolute mother, a wife. He will move the moment one that has these values.
This is not justification for cheating or breakup as there are many reasons why people are together in the first-place society and bandwagon ranking highest.
Bottom line, the mystique of a lady still rules.
It’s a known fact, no person is ugly, some one just needs access to the right resources to some it could just be clothes that fit however, everyone is what they portray mystique or not. Define yourself.
This does not in any way make the gentlemen gods nor give any of them the right to judge or point fingers. However, as the potential persons on the other side of this coin they know exactly what they need and the different traits one should exhibit without being asked. Remember unlike the ladies who usually say it to a man’s face when he does not check up on them, most men will not tell you neither ask you to check up on them. Just know ‘the more you pleasant your surprises get, the closer to his heart you are likely to drift.’
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